I think that every dancer is pressured by social media to regularly produce dance videos in a good quality. I knew early on how to produce videos to tell stories, so my videos were generally longer and I was in the videos either with my crew or as a duo. At some point it just wasn’t fun for me to watch short, meaningless videos but what I did know is that it’s part of the social media game to have consistent output and get the clicks to be successful…
So in the beginning I already had a clear idea. I sat down, wrote a concept and had a choreo ready that I thought was good for me haha. I had even ordered several outfits.
I then showed Markus the idea but he wasn’t really feeling it. It was also the first time we had worked together and we just agreed to film something during the day and make a cool thing out of it. I also think that in a way he sensed that I was tense and I was taking it too seriously. I then explained to the guys on a face time call that I actually hate being alone in videos but I also know that I have to work on it.
Markus and JP just told me to bring several outfits and choose a track and that we would just go with it.
While we were filming I was a bit sceptic because they weren’t dancers and I had seen videos of people filming who just ruined the dance with the editing. We went to different locations, filmed something and at some point we were just kind of done, which felt weird to me being used to shooting in a more structured way. Of course I panicked and wanted to know what it looked like all the time, but I also knew that I had to take a step back and just have fun freestyling outside in front of strangers around me.
I think everyone knows that you sometimes imagine something and in the end it comes out completely different, you are happy with some things and unsure about others or even becoming frustrated because the resuls differ from your vision. For me the most beautiful thing about it was to just learn to trust the process and to let the project evolve on its own. I gained a lot from that approach, letting go and not trying to micromanage every aspect.
The guys were responsive to me and surprised me with how often I wasn’t really alone in the video.
I was still super nervous even after the great result to post the video simply because I was kind of afraid to see only myself on my feed due to self-doubts and the pressure to produce perfection.
I just hope that other dancers out there who are going through the same thing in a way can draw strength from just trying something and tap dancing out of their comfort zone, 2020 I think showed us all that we were in some kind of bubble and became disconnected from ourselves.